Opening up about Mental Health at University

Sophie shares her experience and the benefits of opening up about mental health at University.

- Sophie

My time at university has been a very mixed experience. I have experienced some amazing highs and awful lows, and my mental health has been at the forefront of a lot of this. I learnt very early on how isolating it is to be in a brand new city, while trying to battle with your own mental health, when it seems everyone else around you is having the time of their lives.

Four years on I still remember the first time I opened up to someone about my mental health in university. Two of my flatmates knocked on my door to check up on me, as they had noticed I’d been acting differently and hadn’t been out of my room much. They sat on my bed and I told them about what I was struggling with, and they just listened and didn’t judge. It made me feel like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders, as I suddenly felt like I didn’t have to hide this side of them from them. Part of the reason I felt like I couldn’t talk to anyone about my experiences was that I felt like people wouldn’t understand. But in this first conversation I had with my flatmates, I learnt how they had their own experiences with mental health issues too.

As I’ve gone through university, I’ve become a lot more confident in talking about my mental health and in doing so have learnt how common these issues are. I have been surprised with the amount of people who have been struggling with their own mental health problems but on the surface appeared like there was nothing going on. Being able to openly talk about my mental health has helped me get through the struggles I have had. If I hadn’t opened up to my friends, then I wouldn’t have been able to turn to them for support when my depression got worse, or when I was experiencing side effects from medication changes. I am so lucky to have an amazing support network, an incredible group of girls that just seem to know the days that require us to all sit around with blankets, snacks and chick flicks. I believe that I wouldn’t have gotten through university without my amazing group of friends, but I wouldn’t have gained that support if I hadn’t have opened up and been honest about my mental health.

Talking about mental health not only reduces the stigma that is still attached, but it breaks down the invisible barrier that we don’t even know is there. Once people knew there was more going on than I let on, I suddenly felt like I didn’t have to act and like I could truly be myself. My anxiety and depression does not define me, but it is part of me, and being honest about that has allowed me to be my true self. Its exhausting having to have this internal battle with myself and to try to keep up an act to hide it. Talking about it has been the best thing I’ve done. So, take the time to talk about mental health, share your experiences and be honest with yourself, because it not only helps you but will help those around you who may be suffering in silence. You’d be surprised how much one conversation could change someone’s life.

Hi, i'm Sophie and i'm in my fourth year of pharmacy studying pharmacy. I wanted to write a piece for Time to Talk to show how much talking about my own experiences have helped me, in the hope that it may help someone reading!

You can start that conversation - it's Time to Talk

Jess shares how helpful talking about her mental health was for her journey and encourages you to reach out to a friend. 

- Jessica Mell

I cannot imagine it. I expect it feels like a bottle of fizzy drink; every day you get shaken, sometimes a little, sometimes a lot, and you try desperately hard to contain everything, making sure that as the pressure builds and builds, you make sure the cap is screwed on tighter and tighter. You carry on with your daily routine, putting a smile on your face and pretending like everything is ok. Does anyone else suffer with this intensely exhausting accumulation of thoughts? Obviously not- nobody else is talking about it…

When I say I cannot imagine it, that’s a lie. I know exactly how it feels. I know that it feels like a bottle of fizzy drink. I know that it feels like you are the only person having to deal with the incredibly draining thoughts. I spent 9 months training to find someone, something or anything to make me realise that I was not the only person going through this. But there was nothing.

And that’s when I found it. Courage. Sitting on my bed in the hospital, I turned to my parents and said that I was going to tell everybody that I was suffering with Anorexia Nervosa and that I was currently hospitalised because of my condition. I felt like I had nothing to loose, I wasn’t ashamed and I figured I would rather get in there first before rumours were spread about my disappearance.

“As most of you will have gathered by now, I am currently in receiving treatment for Anorexia. I just want to thank everybody for their support over the past few weeks, and for all the lovely cards and messages you have sent. I am in the right place now to get this sorted and get my life back on track ”

There it was- the best post I have ever made on Facebook and the start of a brand new journey. I decided right then that I never wanted anybody to feel the same way that I did and I was going to be open and honest about my mental health difficulties. I signed the Time to Talk pledge, spoke on the radio numerous times, wrote newspaper articles, started a blog and made speaking about mental health become a part of my life. People approached me in person, over Facebook or through my blog to ask questions, talk about their own experiences and thank me for sharing mine. I heard stories of people not understanding what they were experiencing, feeling alone and not knowing what to do. Can you imagine your brother, parent or best friend feeling like that?

You can start that conversation. Text a friend you haven’t heard from in a while and ask them how they are, or make a hot drink for someone and make time to have a conversation. Whichever way you approach it, just remember that the most important thing that you can do is listen. It can sometimes be hard to know what to say, and even as someone that has been through a diagnosis myself, I still worry about what I say to other people that I have conversations with. However, I have found the advice and tips on Student Minds ‘Look After Your Mate’ page and on the Time to Talk website to be extremely helpful. From thinking about where is the right place to start a conversation to considering how you phrase your responses; there are so many useful resources available to help you make that important step for someone you care about. But don’t be scared or worried about what you say, the crucial detail is that you are there; you have taken time out to speak to that person and you have given them an opportunity to talk.

‘Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen.’ – Winston Churchill

Having experienced my own mental health issues, I am passionate about raising awareness and supporting organisations that have the capacity to help other individuals that are suffering. As the founder and president of Sheffield Hallam SU Student Minds, I hope to engage students using Student Minds campaigns and blog and fundraise in order to help this amazing charity continue the great work that they do! 

Talking about Mental Health

Hayley explains how even though the thought of speaking out about mental health can be difficult at first, it is all worth it in the end!

- Hayley

Words are difficult. They always have and always will be. The difficulty is that what comes across may not be what we want to say and what we mean. There’s so much built up in our thought, that we cannot express this fully with just words alone.

With words, we can express things in writing, or even combined with art, like in comics. But, talking? It provides new territory that is difficult to navigate. There’s one quote that always sticks out to me whenever I think about this particular issue which is, “He was less of himself out loud. His native language was thought.” (The Raven King by Maggie Stiefvater).

This is especially true for talking about mental health. With mental illness, it is especially daunting because of the stigmas attached to talking about it. We are dealing with the struggles of expressing thoughts that might be too big to explain with words easily.

For me, there have been varied experiences of speaking about my mental health - some are good, some bad. But ultimately, talking about mental health has been worth it.

Number one is with therapists. This was a good one. At first, it was difficult to explain how I felt and what I was thinking, but I learnt to. With the right encouragement, it became easier. Over 12 one-hour sessions, I talked about mental health in a group. Through this, I could both explain my experiences whilst also listening to the different way other people spoke about experiencing the same things. Although good, talking was difficult at first; the feelings feel too large to be captured by singular words. But without talking, I would never developed as I did.

Secondly, friends.  This was easiest - professionals are daunting because they are experts. But with friends? They are your peers - it is easier to connect with them. Friends won’t analyse what you say, or figuring out treatment plans. They provide a different service. They help you to gather your thoughts in preparation to talk to doctors or parents. Friends have helped me to describe my thoughts in easier and clearer ways. They supported me when I needed to talk. I realised that these are issues that need to be talked about more, especially with students. Friends provided the groundwork necessary to push myself to talk about this.

Both the hard and easier parts of talking about mental health need to be considered together. Given the stigma surrounding mental health, talking will seem always hard. But the good in talking outweighs the bad by so much. I have dealt with a lot of negativity and disbelief when I have spoken about mental health, but I have also had people be the opposite. I have had people be understanding, compassionate, helpful, and just be kind. Many people I would never have even met without talking about my mental health. I would never have realised that this is something I can deal with. This is something I can manage. By talking about it, I learned how to get better. Talking about it starts the conversation, and everyone else can help you finish it when you don’t know how to do it yourself. All that is required in starting a conversation is to say you need help when you need it. Everyone else, friends, professionals or whoever else, will respond. They can provide ways to finish the conversation.

It will always be tricky and daunting, but it is always worth starting the conversation about mental health, especially when you are struggling. Talking about it opens doors; it helps you see the way out of a dark, scary and disorientating experience, because someone will respond with something that helps you. So, talk about mental health - open those doors, and someone will show you the way out.

Hi! I'm Hayley I am a third year psychology student at Oxford Brookes. I have been volunteering as a a Student Minds facilitator for a year. I hope that by sharing my experiences and knowledge of mental health it will help others in similar scenarios.

It's Time to Talk

Lucy shares her experience of being a peer support facilitator and highlights how the simple act of conversation can help change people's lives.

-Lucy

I believe that one of the biggest struggles when it comes to mental health is the stigma that surrounds it. It can cause a fear of talking to your friends and family due to feeling embarrassed, ashamed, or being unsure of how they are going to react. This as a result feeds into a continuous cycle of isolation.

Time to Talk is a day used to highlight the importance of talking openly about mental health. Just a simple conversation and a listening ear can make such a difference to the way a person feels about their mental health, and eliminate the previous stigmatised views. The more open we are and the more willing we are to talk, the bigger change we can begin to make on people's lives.

At University, I volunteer as a peer support facilitator for Student Minds. We run support groups for fellow students who are suffering with mental health difficulties. The aim of these groups isn't for us to hand out a diagnosis or provide any sort of counselling but instead, it is to provide support and a safe place for people to come and talk about their difficulties. Taking part in this volunteering has opened my eyes to how beneficial the simple act of talking can be. Having somewhere to go where you can freely discuss how you feel, and have people listen to you, can make such a positive impact on a person's life.

While running these support groups, we receive feedback from those who attend. They have expressed to us that it's great to know they have somewhere to turn when they have felt most alone. Some people explained that they initially found it difficult to talk about how they were feeling to their friends and family however through these sessions they have begun to find more comfort in doing so. Through these experiences they have learned how to open up and talk about their mental health without feeling ashamed or embarrassed.

In addition, some people have emphasised how good it felt to talk to like-minded people, which instantly caused them to feel less judged. It wasn't until they had attended a session that they realised they were not the only one struggling and instead, it was quite a common thing. It had lead them to view the people they see in their day to day life in a very different light. Instead of feeling scared to speak up, they felt more empowered knowing that those around them may be able to relate. By being the first to talk, they may also give their friends and family the confidence to talk about their own experiences too.

Talking about mental health is an incredible way to ensure that nobody feels alone. It de-stigmatises it and allows those struggling to realise that it is more common than they originally lead themselves to believe. Talking about mental health can also educate those who may not fully understand the reality of it, and allow them to feel more confident in speaking to those around them who may be struggling.

Without conversation, the isolation that those experiencing mental health feel, would never go away. They would remain stuck in their own frame of mind and never be given the opportunity to relieve some of that pain. The act of conversation and talking about mental health can make a huge impact on a person’s life. Providing a listening ear and a safe space to talk, can help support them through what may be a very difficult time.

It’s time to talk and give mental health a voice. We need to empower those who speak up and make sure they are listened to. It can really help change lives.

Hello! I'm Lucy, a Clinical Psychology Masters student at Anglia Ruskin University! Through studying Psychology and experiencing life as a student, I have become incredibly passionate about mental health and helping to make a positive change. I have been volunteering for Student Minds for the past 2 years as a Peer Support Facilitator at my university, and have been the Editor of the Student Minds blog since June 2017.

How editing my students’ newspaper helps my mental health

Emily writes about how taking on editorial positions has boosted her confidence and mental health.

- Emily Maybanks 

Since the beginning of my final year at Swansea University in September 2017, I have been the Creative Writing Section Editor for the Swansea University students’ newspaper – the Waterfront – and since November, I have also been one of two Deputy Editors. The Waterfront newspaper has been such a huge part of my life at university; I’ve been writing for the paper since my second year. The Waterfront has been hugely beneficial for my mental health in a variety of ways, especially since beginning my editorial positions. I’ve struggled with depression and anxiety for several years, but for the first time, I’ve found something I am genuinely passionate about and something that I am slowly improving on.

• Firstly, editing for the Waterfront has given me chance and confidence to meet new people, and to reach out to new people. One of the biggest things I’ve done for the Waterfront is interview the singer Calum Scott in Cardiff last October. 

• Secondly, the Waterfront has given me a reason to get up in the mornings, when my mental health has been particularly bad or when university has been more stressful. Being able to go and work on designing the Waterfront or putting an online article together often calms me right down and leaves me feeling positive. 

• Editing, as well as writing, for the Waterfront has also given me so many new skills and new experiences. The aforementioned interview that I did is an example of this. I have also gained experience using new software to learn how the paper is put together each month, and I’ve run a content meeting. 

• Fourthly, I’ve been able to use the Waterfront as a platform to write about and share my experiences of mental health. I believe that this is important because I’ve been able to offer advice and support and reassurance to other students who may be struggling with mental health. 

• Finally, I have gained so much self-confidence through my editorial experiences and positions. Having always been someone who has struggled enormously with my self-confidence and self-esteem, the Waterfront has had such a positive impact on my mental health and my confidence levels. 

Getting involved with a student media platform – whether it is your students’ newspaper, or your University’s radio station – is something I would very much recommend for anyone looking to improve their mental health. What can start off as a very positive hobby can often lead to new prospects and open new doors.  I can 100% say that getting involved with the Waterfront newspaper at Swansea University has been one of the best choices I’ve made during my degree. The positive impact that it has had on my mental health surprises me sometimes.

My name is Emily (Em). I am currently in my final year studying Modern Languages, Translation & Interpreting at Swansea University, where I'm also the Creative Writing Section Editor and Deputy Editor for The Waterfront - Swansea's student newspaper. I wanted to write for Student Minds because I have experienced depression and anxiety as well as other health issues, and I support friends who have also experienced mental health difficulties. I am also a passionate writer and writing has been important in my mental health experiences - both in helping me to cope with my mental health, as well as sharing my story in order to help others.

Am I my Brain?

Rosie shares her experience of talking about mental health.

- Rosie Capell

My mental health isn’t something I talk about often. Or at least, it never used to be. This was for a couple of reasons. It’s not that I’m ashamed of it, it’s just that broaching the subject was… complicated. For a start, when am I supposed to bring it up? Am I meant to break the news in a dramatic DMC over copious cups of tea, after developing a long and profound friendship? Or should I just be open from the very beginning? The thing is, “Hi, I’m Rosie and I have and still do experience varying degrees of disordered eating, restrictive and bingeing tendencies, body dysmorphia, as well as social anxiety” isn’t the snappiest way to start a conversation.

This was the main worry for me, and it’s the reason why it’s taken me so long to become more open about my mental health. Most of all, I dreaded becoming my mental illness. Over and over in my head, I played out the scene: I imagined the tumbleweed moment as I watched a friend’s pupils shrinking, my words encircled by *MENTAL HEALTH* flashing lights. Particularly for people who (as far as they knew) didn’t know anyone who had ever experienced mental illness, I feared becoming “that eating disorder woman”. It was a fear that consumed me, so much so that each time I began to frame the words, I would swallow them up and put it off for another day.

But when eventually I reached out and started being more open about it all, I was relieved to find that my identity stayed safely intact. I haven’t become the “eating disorder woman” or the “social anxiety woman”. I’m just me. Yes, it is a part of me, but so is my love of languages, dogs, and Disney films. It’s a part of my identity, but that doesn’t mean it is my identity. 

Of course, this doesn’t mean that anyone should ever feel pressured to share their mental health experiences. But equally, no one should ever feel worried about opening up in a safe and supportive environment. There are no ‘should’s or ‘ought to’s - the only determining factor is how comfortable you are with it. After feeling for so long that it had been consuming me, it was the most liberating thing to discover that mental health doesn’t define you, and the people who really matter in life can often see that more clearly than you.

Hi! I'm Rosie and I study French and Italian in Oxford. Mental health is very close to my heart, and I hope sharing my experiences will help others in similar situations.

The University Blues

Rosie shares her experience of the January blues, getting ready to leave university and how far she has come. 

- Rosie Steele

The January blues. The anticipation of the future blues. The is this worth it blues. The workload blues. The needing to look after yourself blues.  The University Blues. 

I am struggling. I tend to struggle during January, I suppose there really is a reason they are called the January blues. Mainly I am struggling with the pressure I put on myself to do-it-all and be-it-all. If you look up ‘perfectionist’ in the Oxford English Dictionary you’d probably find a picture of me on the top-floor of the library surrounded by textbooks and an over-priced peppermint tea.

Graduation is fast approaching, the unknown, the big bad world and needing to prove my worth to survive. I’m struggling with this thought. I want to cherish my last few months of university, not be plagued by anxiety on what’s going to happen when I leave. I want to create happy memories to remember.

I wrote this time last year how I received a grade I was not happy with.

Dear Reader, it’s happened again. 

This one is even lower, and it is third year so I sat in my universities social space and cried, and cried, and cried. I was sad, disappointed, angry, ashamed even, in myself, in my abilities. Thoughts began to spiral of ruining my degree and my future dreams of a Masters’ degree.

This time last year though I did not have a best friend coming up behind me and just hugging me. She did not need to tell me it was okay because she understood I needed a few hours to just be sad. She did tell me it was okay though, because it is. In the bigger picture of happiness, it is okay because I have a friendship I cherish now. When I wrote this time last year I did not have a friend to hug me.

Every day I am grateful for her, for them. When I graduate I will stand with them and regardless of the classification and remember the fun we’ve had over this last year. I’ll stand and remember the positive change across university in terms of mental health campaigning. I’ll remember the trip to Copenhagen and laughing until the early hours. I’ll remember the nights out I felt invincible and the pure happiness during my student group socials. If I could bottle how I feel after each meeting and sell it, I’d make a mint.

The good doesn’t make the bad disappear or cure my mental health but it does make the university blues bearable.

Then I spoke to my mum who told me that particular assignment didn’t play to your strengths, that’s okay though, what you’re good at, you’re good at.

Let that be a lesson to us all, we can’t do it all but we can take pride in what we are good at.

I’m good at surviving university in six months I’ll walk across a stage in the knowledge that some days I was so blue I didn’t think I could carry on but always did.

 I’m going to take pride in that.

I'm Rosie and I'm in my third year of a media, culture and communication degree in Liverpool. I suffer from anxiety, and separation anxiety which has made university a tough time, leading me to find Student Minds. I am now a Campaigner and Fundraising Champion which allows me to share my mental health story whilst raising money for something I am so passionate about helping to bring awareness to.

How I cope with financial problems and stress

Caroline shares her advice about managing your finances while at university. 

- Caroline

Student life can be hard. Between the stress of making grades and being able to find a job after you graduate, lies a financial stress that worried me for most of my college career. Every year I piled on another student loan and could feel the pressure of financial problems looming over my head. Studies show that 70% of students in college feel overwhelmed by their financial situation and stress. However, looking back, there are a few things I would have done differently to not only relieve my stress then but help the future me from being financially burdened. 

Finding the Right Job

College is the perfect place to network and I wish I had used that aspect of it more. Depending on the career you want to go into, college can be a great place to start building your resume. Whether you want to create software, sell novels, or teach, you don’t have to be an unpaid intern to start making money from your career. I loved writing and wanted to make a career out of it, but waited until I graduated to start publishing and blogging. Instead of making money AND building my resume, I just focused on a side job that would bring me some side cash.

However, speaking of side cash, don’t overlook small jobs such as pet sitting, babysitting, filling out surveys online, Ubering, or other modes of money making. I made some excellent cash, at least enough to keep me fed on more than just ramen noodles, by using these side jobs. If you excel in a subject, especially math, English, or science, tutoring is also a great option. 

Sticking to a Budget

I was great at making budgets. If ever my financial situation and stress began to creep up, I would sit down and enthusiastically make a beautiful, color-coded budget. After I made it, I would feel so much better and relaxed.

However, I wasn’t always good at sticking to my budget. Late night study snack trips with my college buddies, spontaneous online shopping to cheer me up, and expensive adventures with friends added up to way more than I had budgeted for, which meant less money to save and more financial stress. Make a budget and stick to it, know what your money personality is will help you create a doable financial plan. You can budget for fun breaks but stick to that amount. Otherwise, explore the numerous free options for adventures. Fun doesn’t have to break the bank.

Applying for Financial Aid and Scholarships

A student loan can be appealing for many reasons. It solves your immediate financial need and you don’t have to worry about it until after you graduate. However, if you’re anything like me, that monster of loan debt piles up and adds way more stress after graduation that you could have avoided. Financial aid and scholarships are a great solution to this.

The place to start is by talking to your college financial advisor. They will be able to point you in a number of different directions for places to apply. It’s their job to give you financial advice. But don’t stop there. Apply for every grant, scholarship, and financial aid that you can. Scholarships can also help you pay for things like books, food, housing, and other expenses in college. 

Saving for Emergencies

Anyone can save, even if you are going through your dorm room and car for spare change to buy some ramen noodles. While it may not be much at first, cutting back spending on things you don’t need and saving the spare change in your pocket at the end of a day begins to add up. The more you practice saving, the better you will be at it. Don’t be like me who spent every dime as soon as I got it and had to go begging to parents and other financial supporters when my car broke down. Saving helps me to become independent and have the money to attend a new class and for when those emergencies pop up.

College student life can be stressful, but financial problems don’t have to add to your stress. Learning how to manage your money wisely now while you are in college will make your future self eternally grateful. By following just a few of the lessons I should have learned, you will be able to save yourself from the financial problems and stress that plague most college students.

Caroline Bird is a new graduate, a rebel kid who had to fight a lot with her financial problems during university. She received some scholarships which helped her to survive university. She comes from a broken family which parents did not support much to attend university, yet she refused to accept the fortune and decide to write her own destiny. She wanted to write for Student Minds to share how she dealt with her tough university life.

Graduation Nerves: What's Next?

Lucy shares her advice for 3rd year students going into their final semester of university, and fearing ‘what’s next?’ once they graduate.

- Lucy

Rewind a few years ago, I never thought that the day would come where I would be finishing my undergraduate degree, let alone starting a Masters. The past few years have been a complete whirlwind, with every plan that I've made regarding my future, falling apart when something else comes up instead. 

Although I am the type of person who loves to plan and has some sort of idea what the future may hold, I've enjoyed the unexpectedness of how each year has played out for me. It has made me realise that sometimes it's better to take a step back from trying to control every aspect of your life and let fate take the lead. It has ended up allowing me to take up some of the most amazing opportunities and experiences of my life.

It can be incredibly daunting to be a 3rd year student going into the final semester. I remember feeling exactly like that last year when I wasn't sure what I wanted to do once I had finished university. I knew that I wasn't ready to leave it behind and I still had so much more to learn, but I still didn't have the faintest clue of what to do next.

It can be incredibly tempting to spend your final semester planning every aspect of your life for once you graduate, but this can be unhealthy. It can make your final few months pass so quickly without giving you chance to fully appreciate them. Although some degree of planning is needed, as you may have to send off applications or figure out what kind of career you want, you must not let it consume your final semester.

It doesn't matter if you don't have your whole life planned out. It doesn't matter if you don't know what kind of job you want or whether you want to extend your education for a little bit longer. Nobody expects you to come out of university and suddenly achieve every dream that you had originally set out to accomplish, so you shouldn't put that pressure on yourself either.

Finishing university can feel like you're finally stepping into the huge and scary adult world, where you suddenly need to grow up and get a lifetime career. Although a lot of people do jump into careers they have been working so hard for, this doesn't have to be the case for everyone.

Leaving university doesn't have to be a scary time: it can be exciting too! It's down to you to make it that way. 

There is no rule book that signifies that you have to leave university and immediately start working towards your long-term career goals. Instead it can be a chance to do everything you never had the chance to do before you headed off to university. Perhaps you always wanted to take a gap year and go travelling but had never had the confidence before. Now is your time to try it! Maybe you just want to get a short-term job and experience living in another city for a year. Now is your time to try it! Or maybe you want to further your education and get a Masters in the topics that interest you most. Now is, also, the time to try it!

Whatever it is that you really want to do, you should give yourself the chance to finally experience that, completely guilt-free. Graduating from university doesn't have to be the start of that mature adult life, where you feel like you need to suddenly grow up. Instead, it can be a continuation of how you've spent your past three years at university - a time to have some fun and find out who you are as a person.

Don't let the end of university be consumed with fear and pressures to suddenly pursue the career you've been working towards. Let it be a celebration of what you have achieved and take the next few years to do the things you've always wanted to do!

Hello! I'm Lucy, a Clinical Psychology Masters student at Anglia Ruskin University! Through studying Psychology and experiencing life as a student, I have become incredibly passionate about mental health and helping to make a positive change. I have been volunteering for Student Minds for the past 2 years as a Peer Support Facilitator at my university, and have been the Editor of the Student Minds blog since June 2017.

The anxious girl’s first day of work

Niamh outlines methods she has found useful in coping with the anxiety of starting a new job and her first experiences working as a copywriter.

-Niamh Reed

Mental health is being talked about more today than ever before, but we still have a long way to go. It’s a hurdle, but it is scalable. You don’t have to let it hold you back. Living with a mental health disorder can be just as debilitating as a physical disability and people cannot see when you’re hurting. With depression and anxiety, facing the upheaval of your life when university ends can be a mountain too steep to believe you can climb. 

Congratulations - you did it! You finished your degree with the qualification you worked so hard for. To top it off, you’ve accepted a great job offer - except you know nothing about working full-time. You’ve spent your entire life in education and now everything is changing. You think about it and your chest tightens. Doubts, questions and worries circle in your mind. What if no one likes me? What if I’m not good enough? You start to hate, berate and bully yourself. I don’t deserve this opportunity. I’m worthless.

Sound familiar? The unfortunate truth is that for so many, part or all of the above is normal. Excitement is replaced with anxiety and the desire to run and hide. You catastrophise the situation until it becomes too much.

It's okay to be afraid

Leaving university is a time of uncertainty. Suddenly you have bills and responsibilities and you must be an adult. It’s big and unknown, but everyone is, has or will experience it, and they are scared too. You needn’t feel ashamed for being frightened, and things DO get easier.

I felt oddly calm on my first day (well, calm for someone with anxiety, at least). Despite being nervous about not knowing what to expect, I managed to keep my head up and my back straight as I entered the office. The people were very welcoming, even having ‘decorated’ my desk and meeting them wasn’t as scary as I had built it up to be. That’s the way it is- often, the things you build up to be super scary actually end up being fun. 

Imposter syndrome 

You don’t see your value in the workplace or recognise your accomplishments and the longer the imposter syndrome continues, the worse it gets, potentially leading to depression and anxiety. You must tackle it and try to recognise the good work that you’re doing. I’m learning to recognise that my writing is valuable to us – and it is ‘us’, not ‘them’ as I am part of the company now. Try to be open, it won’t hurt to ask how you’re doing; your desire to improve where possible will impress. 

If you don’t know what to do, ask

A symptom of anxiety is the worry that you’re a burden and the overwhelming need to avoid that at all costs. You want to impress, but you worry that you’ll annoy people by asking something. This is not the case. 

On my first day, I had to ask a lot about how to use the programs that I would need daily. My first day at a software company and I couldn’t make a computer work. If I didn’t ask, I wouldn’t be able to work. So, I approached my supervisor and it wasn’t a problem in the slightest. The tightness in my chest began to recede. She told me that she had struggled understanding the software and navigating new programs too. She helped me, and now I’m not as scared. 

Be brave and take the leap

Enjoy your first day of work. It might seem scary, but just be yourself – after all, that’s how you got the job in the first place. If my experiences are anything to go by (and to quote Bob Marley) - don’t worry, because every little thing is going to be alright.

Hi! I’m Niamh, a Keele University graduate, fox lover and budding copywriter at Parker Software. By day I write about technology and my experiences as an intern. By night I draw, play the violin, and hip-throw to my heart’s content in jiujitsu. 

Time to Rebuild

Michael writes about how a fresh start to the year can help you to focus on your goals.

Michael Rigby

The new year has arrived. Many people will be saying that old quote; “new year, new me”. I wonder how many times we’ve stated that. I’ve been saying the same words for the past few years now actually- I even said it again this year for 2018. Will I be successful this time? I guess I’ll find out in twelve months.

At this moment, I feel a difference. I’ve started the year by signing up for challenges such as treks for charity; I haven’t done anything like that for two years, and even then I’d already lost the love for physical challenges. But this year, as soon as the clock struck midnight and 2018 had arrived, I started rebuilding once again.

I’ve been attempting to rebuild since 2016. I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve fallen back down and failed the attempt, each time knowing I will have to pick myself up again. However, this time I feel the hunger. Sometimes in life, you have to get knocked down further than you might want. Everyone has a limit, and I’ve finally found mine. I had enough of fighting with my mind each day- 2018 has to be the year I rebuild. The pieces will never go back into the same spot because my life has changed; I must re-invent myself, and that’s a challenge I’m happy to take on. I get to be the CEO of my own life and decide how I want to live it.

Therefore, I advise anyone who reads my posts; it is a new year and it can be a new you. You just have to make it happen. Whatever the situation you’re in, it can and will get better- don’t let anything negative define your future.

If anyone wants to view my instagram blog based on Mental Health, then follow @walkingtallclub. If you’re wondering what it’s all about, go and check it out.

Hi, I'm Michael Rigby and I study Sports Business and Broadcasting at UCFB Wembley. I have experienced mental illness, including depression and social anxiety since the age of 14.

Think Positive, Be Positive: how positive thinking can improve your outlook and well-being

Emma writes about how positive thinking can improve both your outlook and general well-being.

-Emma Dukes

Before beginning, I would just like to say that it will not be one of those, ‘happiness is a choice’ sort of posts. I am aware that for a lot of us, being happy or positive is extremely difficult and often seemingly impossible. The aim of this post, rather, is to offer strategies to replace negative thoughts with positive ones, thus eventually creating an increasingly positive outlook and making happiness more achievable.

I am probably the worst person when it comes to negative thinking and overthinking. I can make the most normal comment or situation massively negative within seconds. I put a lot of pressure on myself to be perfect, which in itself makes any sort of failure or disappointment a million times worse. But I’ve discovered many different ways to lessen this and make my thought process a lot more positive and manageable.

To begin the journey towards positive thinking, it’s important to first accept the reasons behind your current thought process. Also, remember that you are not expected to be positive all of the time, nor are you going to magically stop overthinking. However, I believe that if you are optimistic and positive, you are more likely to achieve your goals and have a healthier outlook on life.

What does positive thinking actually do?

It is widely believed that positive thinking is a way of life that simultaneously makes us stronger and manifests positive results. The idea is that if you have a positive attitude, this will be broadcast to those around you, making your interactions and relationships stronger and thus encouraging you feeling more confident in yourself. If you go into a situation expecting the worst or thinking negatively, it is likely that you will receive a negative outcome. This is because the stress of overthinking can cause you to not perform to the best of your ability and cause you to lack confidence. Whereas if you tell yourself you will succeed, the positive energy will give you the boost you need to do so. It is also thought that positive thinking has the ability to improve overall health. This is because positive attitudes often allow people to focus on eating well, exercising and avoiding unhealthy coping mechanisms.

Positive thinking can improve:

· Self esteem
· Confidence
· Relationships
· Education
· Mental illness

So, how do I get there?

Positive thinking can be difficult, especially if you strongly believe you’re not a worthwhile person or that you’re guaranteed to fail. The best way to begin to replace negative thoughts is to notice them, accept them and then replace them with contrasting ones. Contrastingly, dwelling on these thoughts reinforces the negativity, making it much harder to think of and focus on the positive. For example, if you’re thinking ‘I can’t do this’, tell yourself, ‘I can’. There will be difficulty and the negative thoughts may creep back in, but persistence is key. The more you train your mind to adapt to this new way of thinking, the better results you’ll achieve. 

Positive affirmations are also a great technique. My favourite concept is not saying anything to yourself that you wouldn’t say to anyone else. Every day, try to tell yourself 5 things you like about yourself or 5 things that you’re proud of. I find this especially useful regarding body image. If I’m having a bad day, I make myself find 5 positive things about my least favourite parts of my body, for example, ‘I may not like my legs but they’re strong, I like my tattoo and they look nice in jeans.’

The most important step is to be self-reliant and to only surround yourself with people who make you feel good. If you rely on others and they disappoint you, you’re likely to blame yourself and fall back into negative thinking. Remind yourself that you do not need others to make you feel important, you are capable of achieving your goals by yourself and that you are your number one priority.

I’m Emma and I’m studying Journalism at the University of Winchester. I’ve suffered with anxiety and anorexia for a long time so thought I’d share my own experiences to hopefully help others on the same journey to recovery.

What I learned about my mental health in 2017

Emily explores how her experiences during 2017 have helped her to learn more about her mental health.

- Emily Maybanks 

2017 was an important and strange year concerning my mental health. I have written previously about how having ovarian cancer, and the aftermath of this experience has impacted my mental health. However, having learnt a lot from my mental health in 2017, I am entering 2018 with overwhelming feelings of excitement for new opportunities, fear for graduating in the summer and the unknown afterwards, and determination for doing the very best I can. However, there are three key things I learnt about my mental health last year. 

First of all, I received a new mental health diagnosis in 2017, which threw me off course completely. Following a major laparoscopic operation in April to remove a tumour and my ovary, I was diagnosed as being post-operatively depressed in May 2017. I’d never heard of being depressed following an operation before my diagnosis. I felt ashamed about being post-operatively depressed and I didn’t tell anyone about it for months. However, eventually opening up about it and realising that people didn’t think I was completely crazy was reassuring. 

Secondly, I learnt a lot about anxiety last year. Before my operation, I was incredibly anxious and scared. I was afraid of the unknown; it was my first ever operation and it took me ages to realise that it was okay to be terrified and anxious. In the hospital, following my operation, an older lady told me that she’d just had her fourth operation and she still felt scared beforehand. I’ve also been quite claustrophobic for most of my life. I hate crowded places and I rarely go on nights out at university for this reason. In August 2017, whilst working at Reading Festival, I took on a very big challenge of watching Bastille perform on Reading Festival’s main stage. The crowd was massive and I felt quite uncomfortable, but, once I got lost in the music of my favourite band, it was worth it. 

Finally, I’ve learnt that talking and sharing my story is a good way to cope with what has happened in my life. I started writing for the Student Minds blog in 2017 – for their summer and Christmas blog series. I also started editing the Swansea University Students’ newspaper as both Creative Writing Section Editor and Deputy Editor. Sharing information about mental health through the Waterfront newspaper, and the wider Swansea Student Media platforms has been really useful.

My name is Emily (Em). I am currently in my final year studying Modern Languages, Translation & Interpreting at Swansea University, where I'm also the Creative Writing Section Editor and Deputy Editor for The Waterfront - Swansea's student newspaper. I wanted to write for Student Minds because I have experienced depression and anxiety as well as other health issues, and I support friends who have also experienced mental health difficulties. I am also a passionate writer and writing has been important in my mental health experiences - both in helping me to cope with my mental health, as well as sharing my story in order to help others.

Homeless Homesickness

Elise writes about how she manages home sickness at university. 

- Elise Jackson

Before I came to university, I can only remember experiencing homesickness once. It was a week-long residential trip at an activities centre and I was 10 years old. So, getting to university and feeling that feeling again was not only a throwback, but extremely disconcerting.

My parents have always let me be independent. They not only allowed, but encouraged me to socialise, to travel, to have new experiences. I think this is why I never got homesick – I was raised to be self sufficient and to find comfort in meeting people. University, then, should have been a breeze.
Flash-forward to summer 2015. Life goes topsy-turvy. Long story short, we had a death in the family, my mum and step-dad moved out of my childhood home to somewhere half-way across the country, I got in to the University of Nottingham and my friends got in to places all over the country. Within the space of a few months, my life was completely displaced.

As I mentioned, this shouldn’t really have been a problem for me. Aside from the grieving, everything else was well within my emotional capabilities and comfort zone. I love new places and new people! But I hadn’t taken one thing into account: I didn’t have a home anymore. The place I knew as home – the house, the bedroom, the walk into school – didn’t exist anymore. Someone else lived there now, and we knew no one in our new village miles away from a train station.

Homesickness is horrible. But when that option to go home and quell the sickness isn’t there anymore, it becomes something else entirely. Learning to manage that feeling was one of the hardest parts of coming to uni, and one of the achievements I’m most proud of.

So, how do you deal with homesickness when you don’t really have a home anymore? Step one, don’t say you don’t have a home. Instead, think of it like you have several new ones! You have where your parents live, where your friends live, and now, where you live with all these lovely new people. Count your bedrooms – what kid wouldn’t be psyched to learn that one day they would have 3 bedrooms to their name?

Step two, make it comfy. We all know uni halls can be gross and smelly and damp, but in my opinion, there’s nothing some good soft furnishings can’t fix. I got a thick old mattress topper for my uni/camping bed, with a fluffy duvet, blankets and several cushions. I strung up pictures, fairy lights, and put net curtains over my window to make it all feel a bit cosier. My room was (and remained to be in my new houses), the comfiest room of all. Not only will this make you feel more chill, it will make people want to be in your room for cuddles all the damn time, which is a great distraction.

Step three, make new memories. One of the things I did in first year which changed the game completely was have my friends to my new house in Norfolk. As soon as I did that, I went from feeling entirely isolated there to absolutely loving it. After a Christmas, a couple of summers and that wonderful mini-holiday with my friends, that new house has become more of a home for me than my old one had felt like for many years.

And lastly, let go. I once joked with a close friend before that I was over-attached to locations. He told me that I wasn’t attached to the places, I was just attached to the memories and the people I loved that populated them. He’s right – home isn’t a place, it’s people. Visiting friends at different unis showed me this – they’re in an alien city in some strange, draughty house but just being with people you love can make any grotty student haunt feel like home.

Build a home in the friends around you. They’ll be doing the same in you. Once I did that, the homesickness completely dissipated. Now, the idea of coming home means people. It means I wake up with my home; I have breakfast with my home; I go to lectures with my home. It also means that, no matter what, I can pick up the phone and hear home in the voice of any friend, any family member. Home is now something I carry with me, everywhere.

Hello! I'm Elise. I'm currently in my final year studying English Language and Literature at the University of Nottingham. My writings for Student Minds will range from pieces about depression and DPD to coping with loss, bereavement and change during your studies - all the while remaining mindful and getting the most out of university life. Thanks for reading!